When we got back to NY, our internet was down. It was a perfect excuse not to write especially after a day or traveling. Isaiah wanted to kick the chair in front of him, on the plane and the lady sitting in front of us didn’t like it. Most of the plain ride was reminding him no to kick the chair. Have you ever repeated yourself 100 times?
(continued from Back to School…)
I was saying, structure is important. There is also the foundation. I think I have that — the desire to find my soul’s purpose (thank you Jamie, purpose is the word I was looking for). I kept saying that I wanted to resurrect during my 33rd year. Its hard even for me to understand what I meant by that. Jamie came along and simplified it by calling it finding your purpose. Resurrection is to rise again. The soul goes from death to life. When I am stagnant and my soul is disconnected and I have no purpose, I feel dead. I can be alive but I am just counting days. That’s not my life, I do have many purposes already but purpose is a multifaceted stone. Just because I am shiny on one side, doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try be shiny on all the other sides. A new purpose, like a new baby gives you another dimension, another life. Michelangelo was a painter, sculptor, architect, poet and engineer. Why should I stop at jewelry designer and mom?
I think about Christ a lot. He is very popular. John Lennon got in trouble for saying, “The Beatles are more popular than Jesus”, I always laugh about that. Can you imagine a world where people don’t get that humor? Jews don’t talk about Jesus very much but I am fascinated so I don’t care. In Jewish circles, people usually think I am joking when I bring up Jesus. I stop before getting deep into the matter. I don’t believe that just by believing in Jesus you go to heaven, but I do believe that he had an important message. It might have been lost in translation but here is what it means to me. If Christ was really a Savior and son of God and Resurrected, I think he must have done it for the people to see what that looks like. He is the son of God, but we are sons and daughters of God too, so we must be Saviors and capable of Resurrection (and capable of healing ourselves and others that’s Reiki).
Jesus doesn’t strike me as the type to do it just to show off. Look at me, I am special. I will die for your sins? Also an example of many people who have to die for the sins of the world as a whole. I don’t think we can say that Jesus was the only one. Taken most literally, the victim dies for the murderer sin, right? He said I am the son of God (and look at me I am flesh and blood like you earthlings).
As for my own resurrection, I didn’t really understand it. Yes, I am writing my soul’s journey, yes, stuff is coming out, yes things are clearing, yes, synchronicities are happening, yes and then what? Then, Jamie’s blog comes out and Mommy Theorist. It’s a wheel. I am inspired to write. Jamie tell me to write 30 minutes a day. Blue is inspired so she creates her blog platform at the perfect time, for me. I write, for the first time publicly, they read it and they become inspired and they want to write. Then they write something that inspires me further and Eureka! Its only action (which is energy) that brings the wheel to turn. Momentum is gained and the wheel is moving. Its overcoming friction — resistance and its rolling on its own set course. Its will stop eventually unless more action is taken. After a while friction –my own resistance can stop it. The most energy is required to get the wheel from the stop position into the roll position. Once its rolling, its only requires little energy to keep it going. It’s all basic physics. I have to remind myself, if I am the subject to gravity, I must be the subject to all the other physics too. Next semester, physics is in the curriculum.
I want to go to school. I want to bridge that cynical “scientific” world with the spiritual world. I want no division between church and state but in the good sense of that word. No division between science and spirit. I want physics classes to talk about our own . I want to write better. I want to tell stories. I want to write a funny and MOVING script. I want to have purposes, each one fulfilling something inside. What I want to do, will not require a diploma, but I will make sure to give myself a pretty one when I graduate Summa Cum Laude (with highest honor).
For now, it’s just a dream, but I have 13 days until school. I think they will take late enrollment.
I need a sign.