Daily Archives: January 21, 2011

Dance Day 17, Idependence

8:59 pm Mountain Time

I am still in Utah.  I am listening to college kids having a party somewhere in the condo.  It brings me back to being that age, it was exciting to be at the hotel partying.  Independence.

There is independence and there is interdependence.

Interdependence is a dynamic of being mutually and physically responsible to, and sharing a common set of principles with others. This concept differs distinctly from “dependence” in that an interdependent relationship implies that all participants are emotionally, economically, ecologically and or morally “interdependent.”

I think love and independence are similar.  You can not give love unless you love yourself.  You can not become interdependent unless you are independent.  I find both of those things to be true now that I have a child.  When he was first born, I was scared.  I felt that I lost my independence because I stopped having freedom.  But I was wrong.  Independence has nothing to do with the time you wake up in the morning and neither does freedom.  You can be entirely on your own and feel codependent and a prisoner.  Or you can be a mother of ten feel independent, interdependent and free as a bird.

When I read the Wikipedia description, it seemed that researchers throughout time were advocates of independence or interdependence.  Why do people have the need to pick sides?  It is democrat or republic, Yankee or Red Sox.  We want so badly to put ourselves into a small box, drawn by black lines with sharp edges.

My sister often says, I do not know enough about politics so I can not have an opinion.  I often jump in with one opinion or the other and get frustrated by that answer.  Why don’t you just have my opinion?  (that is what I am really saying)  I know I will not erase a lifetime of strong opinions but I will say this.  You can not put my sister in a box and I respect that.

Yury’s sister said the other day in a conversation, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”  I heard this quote before and took it as the truth (it is a quote so it must be true, right?) but this time it  got me thinking.  What if everything, I find to be true and good is wrong?  Is it not what the phrase is saying?  Your good intentions are paving a road to hell?  Doesn’t everyone have good intentions?  Even the thief is stealing because for him stealing is his own idea of good?

We pick these positions and they simplify everything.  I am this so I think this.  I am that so I think that.  Why do that?  All your good intentions are paving your road to hell!

Here we are infinite beings.  If you dissect us, we are supernatural.  Our design is impeccable.  Look at the eyeball and you can see a whole Universe.  Neural networks communicating perfectly with one another to give us the ability of sight.  Take any part of our body and you can study it for a lifetime.  Take just one cell, one atom, one quanta.  The fact that we are here and capable of doing what we are doing is incredible.

So why do we use our infinite choices to make ourselves finite?  If our eyes can see it all why do we choose to look only straight?  The road to hell is paved with good intention.  But the road to heaven is also paved with good intention.  The road to freedom is paved with independence from everything you think you are.

10:49 pm Mountain Time