11:32 AM
Today is my official second day of college. I did my morning pages. They revealed a lot. I am confused about my college. I do not know what it is yet. I made a schedule that is not working. I will be changing my curriculum. I made classes that I do not want to go to. Like drawing, just not feeling it. I made requirements, I cannot maintain. Dancing, I have not had energy after my cold. I am disappointing myself and you but I have not danced in 5 days. I have to cut down to three times a week. It will take time to figure out a system.
Recently I bought three books on Feng Shui. I want to learn Feng Shui because my husband and I are renovating our first home. I have read one short book on Feng Shui years ago. It is faint in my mind. For a while used the concepts. I made intentions, I moved furniture, I cleared clutter, I organized, I placed objects to symbolize things I wanted to manifest in my life, it worked every time. Creating energy in my outer spaces consciously allowed my mind to have space. I need more now. We will be moving walls soon. I want those walls to move consciously.
I was due to Draw 10:15-11:15 am but instead I picked up my Feng Shui A Practical Guide for Architects and Designers. I am on page 11 and already I highly recommend this book (especially to you, Lisa). It is grounded and smart. A synchronicity happened on the second page. The Feng Shui author started talking about Left and Right brain. That sounded familiar, since my drawing text-book was Drawing with the Right Side of the Brain, I flipped the page and there it was, a reference to the Author of Drawing on the Right side of the brain by Betty Edwards, the very book I was supposed to study in my canceled drawing class. It turns out she also has a book on Feng Shui. This was a synchronicity not to be ignored. It said, switching my curriculum is ok. I am attracted to the same concepts, no matter what book I pick up. Or they are attracted to me.
As I sat reading my book this morning, I was asking myself, what is it about Feng Shui that I love so much. Why am I drawn to this subject. The answer came quickly as I read the fundamentals. Feng shui is a healing art. It is seemingly about arranging space and furniture and cleaning your room but that is like saying yoga is about having a nice body. If therapy works from inside out, Feng Shui works from outside in. I can look at my environment and figure out my inner world.
Somewhat consciously, my husband and I created the space around ourselves in our current apartment. In our creation of our first real home I want to be as conscious as I am in undertaking any new project going forward. I want to know that every bit of energy I exert is for my own highest good and therefore for the highest good of everyone around me. I want my home to be a sanctuary.
We went to see a renovation of this couple’s house in our neighborhood. The wife said that she wanted her home to be a sanctuary. I cringed a little bit. It sounded pompous to me to have such high aspiration. But then I thought about it. A sanctuary just means a place that is safe and sacred to you. I am not about to put the Virgin Mary statue inside our house but I will be putting objects far more sacred to me, like Isaiah’s crib.
My first semester is to clear myself from inside out AND from outside in.
11:06 pm
Olia Rights 
“Oasis” is a good word in addition to “sanctuary” (without the religious connotations). Cool!
How about making a vision board for your home?
I am not disappointed in you and I hope you aren’t disappointed in yourself. I think a part of taking on these challenges and committments involves seeing how they actually feel. Some cause gigantic openings and breakthroughs and others immediately feel like work. I’m not talking about those few days you don’t feel like it. I’m talking about the giant resistance that kicks in because you’ve signed yourself up for something that doesn’t truly jive with what you want to be doing for the next x amount of time. Then you get a chance to create your own flow and go with it. By fully committing to doing something you figure out if it’s something you want to do or if you want to move forward with something else.
Olia’s College baby. I want to take a feng shui class!
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