Just Truth

10:59 pm

When I started writing this blog, I felt I was coming out of the darkness.  I was hidden away all these years.  I am ready to unravel myself.   I wanted to write an email, the coming out of the closet kind, about my new venture but I was scared.  Some days, I publish my blog with hand shaking, afraid that I might offend someone in my writing.  My mom has been starting conversations lately by saying, don’t put this in your blog.  This is an unknown world for me.

Few people remarked that they had no idea that this was going on in my head.  People who are close to me.  Now that I am out of the closet, I am happy to show just how “gay” I can be.  I write about anything that strikes me when I sit down at the computer and I usually wrap it up with an uplifting phrase.  But is that me?  Lately, I stopped hearing myself in my writing.  There is something missing.  I found a rhythm and now I write to that beat.  I like rhythm, but am not sure if it is just another comfortable box that I am crawling into.

I have a lot on my mind.  It is not anything that I can write publicly about.  Just because I am coming out of the closet does not mean that other people want to.  My blog started honest and current.  Now it is secondary.  These are not primary subjects for me anymore.  But this is the process.  The balance between “the” truth and just truth.

11:50 pm


3 responses to “Just Truth

  1. Hmmmmmnnn… I hope you don’t go on hiatus. It’s not easy bein’ a star. Well, we’re like flickering candles.

  2. Darling, I don’t know you that much and I don’t know anything about your life, but I know one thing: if mama is afraid to talk to you openly because of a blog-you’re right about your doubts. I’m sure you’ll find a right balance. Lots of kisses!!

  3. Your blog is still a new part of your life and you are so open about your life. That is one reason it is such a joy to read. I think what your mom said comes with writing a personal blog. But there you go—she makes her preferences clear and then you know to not mention that. Sometimes i talk about people or experiences anonymously, so I don’t get myself in trouble with anyone who doesn’t want to be read about in my blog. I think it’s totally fair.

    The discovery of your writing voice… It is interesting. I find when I blog I want to wrap it up with some sort of positive ending too. I think it’s because I’m a big believer in being honest with myself about what I am feeling. But at the end of the day, i do see the positive light, i do see how it all fits in to make the journey better, and my blog is one of the things i do to make my life better, to enjoy my life more and connect with others. so i want people to leave with that feeling too.

    Keep exploring. Keep evolving. There’s a lot more light out of the closet.


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